Turns out my moms bf is having a lot of issues too, too many to discuss. he is even thinking about leaving because of all these issues. he loves her so much but idk what is gonna happen. I know if he leaves my mom will be heartbroken but after talking with him I can understand his reasons.

What the hell is going on with the world? I am becoming more depressed and I am very confused on what I am gonna do. i want to stay here in Cali with my birth mom but I am so stressed out and I feel like she is the only one who wants me here. My lil sis treats me like complete shit and so does my bro. I miss my friends and family and realized if we lose internet I wont even be able to talk to Patrick since he is in Iraq. I need to be able to communicate him.

I might just get a new job, I can not handle babysitting my lil sis. She yells at me all the time and treats me like complete CRAP. I am gonna give it another week but if things dont shape up I quit, I cant handle the stress.

My mom coming down to see me and having me here for the summer is costing her so much money. Damnit i feel like SUCH a burden on her and everyone else. Right now I just want to be hugging my dog taylor, he is good to have when I am crying.