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Jenny (Jen Jen)
07 April 2010 @ 04:30 am
Making a new livejournal. I want a fresh start. If you want my new username comment and I will send you a message with it. I am still deciding on what it will be. I will prob delete this whole journal when I get a new lj.

Thanks for all the friends and support I have had on here for so many years. I just need to start over.
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Jenny (Jen Jen)
02 April 2010 @ 04:20 pm
They are in no particular order. I could not decide who I love more. I will add more onto it. I know I am forgetting a few people

Zooey Deschanel

click here to see the rest of my shag listCollapse )
Jenny (Jen Jen)
18 March 2010 @ 01:18 pm

movies on my to buy list:

-mean girls
-saw vi
-the fourth kind
-500 days of summer
-up in the air
-jennifer's body
-new moon
-what happens in vegas
-where the wild things are
-the virgin suicides
-the time traveler's wife
-all about steve
-the hangover
-the uninvited
-p.s i love you
-marley & me
-bride wars
-he's just not that into you
-failure to launch
-the notebook
-the truth about cats and dogs
-sunshine cleaning
-the haunting in connecticut
-whip it
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Jenny (Jen Jen)
27 January 2010 @ 02:40 am
seventytwoplays got me into this.
She gave me. . . .

To see who she gave me, look under the cutCollapse )
Current Mood: awakeawake
Jenny (Jen Jen)
I just found out that Patrick is engaged. He and I were dating for 1 1/2 years. If you go and read all my old blogs you will be able to see how much he meant to me. We broke up in August and he has been dating this new girl for only 5 months. They started dating 3 days after we broke up.

Him and I were engaged and made so many future plans. Knowing he is doing the same thing with another girl kills me. My pain is knowing I can't have you.

It has been almost half a year since we broke up but I still love him. I tried to get over him but it is not an easy process. I wish I could just forget all about him and stop the pain. It takes some time to let you go and it shows.

The funny thing is that one of the reasons he mentioned in the break up email was that we moved too fast. And then he goes and moves in with a girl he is dating a few months and then is now engaged? He is a walking contradiction Don’t tell me lies just say goodbye.

All my friends say the same thing "you are too good for him" I honestly don't know what to say to that. I just want the pain to go away. Now I'm told that this life, And pain is just a simple compromise.

I know I will get over him when I find someone else. That is how it worked with all my previous exs. But I never loved or cared about them as much as I did/do Patrick. I am just sick of having my heart broken. That is why i have a wall up. Would someone care to classify, Our broken hearts and twisted minds, So I can find someone to rely on.

It is times like this I am so thankful for my friends and family. I need them to get my through the heartaches and pains of life. I hate being alone. I wish I could go to each and every one of my friends and just hug them. Keep me safe inside Your arms like towers Tower over me

I am going to end this long rant with a quote from the show one tree hill.

"Albert Camus once wrote, 'Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.' But I wonder if there's no breaking then there's no healing, and if there's no healing then there's no learning. And if there's no learning then there's no struggle. But struggle is a part of life. So must all hearts be broken?"
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Jenny (Jen Jen)
21 November 2009 @ 07:15 pm

default oldest newest
saddest happiest angriest
cutest sexiest funniest
fave ship fave fandom fave animated
best quote best textless best stolen idea
use the most favorite

ARE THEY ANY GOOD: Idk, Are they?
ANIMATED ICONS ARE: Cool but I dont have many

Coding can be found here
Jenny (Jen Jen)
29 October 2009 @ 12:05 am
I was going through my old computer and came across a paper I wrote for school a few years ago.

For those of you who don't know me, I am just a girl. I am human, and I make mistakes. I am also somewhat responsible. I appreciate my heritage and want to learn more about it sometime in the near future. Who I am is not determined by what others say or think. I am me regardless of the thoughts of others.

If you know me, you know me. There's no big mystery to who I am. I'm exactly who you see. I'm exactly whose walking down the hallway at school. I don't have an image to uphold because my reputation is ever-changing. I'd have to say that I'm really outgoing and energetic. I don’t always think before I speak, and that doesn’t always turn out very well. I tend to let people take advantage of me. I wish I could be totally one- hundred percent honest to everyone's face every second of the day, but I am too nice to do that.
I want to be happy. I want to be that person that's so happy it makes you sick. I don't want to be happy just on the outside. I want to be happy on the inside. I'm working on building a thicker skin. I used to be a cutter and I have realized it never made me feel as good as I do now. I'm not perfect, but I'm the best person I can be. I have the greatest friends in the whole world. I try my best not to hold grudges against them. I hate the way people want to put themselves into a category, or pretend to like/hate certain things to make themselves cool. I like what I like because I like it, and I don't care if you think it's stupid.
Life, to me, is about feeling and not thinking. Life is about hearing every wonderful sound and seeing every gorgeous thing out there. I'm really emotional and sensitive. The smallest things can make me feel amazing, or tare me to the lowest low. Some people would want to change this because the pain is so unbearable, but the truth is, when something feels good, it's incredible and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't plan a lot because I like everything to fall into place as it goes along.

I do think I'm different than everyone else. I try hard to believe it, but at the same time I know it's not true. If something is truly how you feel inside, and you express it outwardly in your appearance, it will never be received poorly. I do know what love feels like. I've been in love. School wise, I dislike math with a passion and I can't stand Spanish. Other than those classes, I don’t mind school and all the hard work involved. I was going to take photography class, but they canceled it. Writing is one of my other favorite things. I love to read things that are worth reading. I love poetry, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I express myself through my poems. I love to laugh. In fact, I laugh at everything, even in serious situations. It's probably something else to do with my insecurities. I know I'm going to do something special in the future, I just don't know what it is yet. Until then, I'm just living every day to the fullest to try to feel everything I possibly can. Who am I? I am Jennifer Thorson.
Current Mood: contentcontent
Jenny (Jen Jen)
23 October 2009 @ 10:11 am
I've now got the new LiveJournal Messenger. My Windows Live ID is lightsfadingout@livejournal.com. Sign up now and we can chat!
Jenny (Jen Jen)
21 October 2009 @ 01:54 am
Life. . . oh what a complex thing it is. Lately I should be thrilled that I finally have a job and yet I am still unhappy. I can't stop thinking about patrick and that is literally eating away at my insides.

Yeah I am normally super happy and energetic but to be honest lately I just feel down. The last guy I connected with just completely blew me off. I can't seem to find anyone that makes me feel the way patrick did.

Yeah sorry I am hung up over an ex, it happens to the best of people! I wish the feelings would just go away but they don't. I feel like it is my self harm addiction all over again. I know I need to stop thinking about him and everyone tells me this but I just. . . .cant. .

"You were too young to be in love" Bullshit. I hate when people say that. I know what we had was LOVE, in all its glory. Then he went off to fucking Iraq and everything changed. It was really hard to argue over the internet.

I just hate seeing him say that his new girlfriend of what 2 months is the love of his life when that is what he told me. He is telling her everything he used on me. . .That is making me sick to my stomach.

I really do not know what to do anymore. I planned my whole life with him and in one email it was shattered into a million pieces along with my heart. He was the one thing in my life I actually believed would turn out okay, and look what happened? It went to hell just like everything else seems to.

I just need a good cry to be honest. I have not cried in a while and all these emotions are eating me up.
Current Mood: blahblah
Jenny (Jen Jen)
23 September 2009 @ 05:08 am
I wrote this recently. . .I was not gonna post it but decided to anyways.

I've kept myself locked away, hiding, and waiting.
Storing my feelings inside,
Pretending that I am much more than what I am.
I hold back my pain,
I also never ask the questions that need to be asked.
In-fact.... I never ask questions at all.

The thoughts keep spinning,
The words keep pressing to escape.
I want to scream the ideas out,
And just flood the world with the impossible words.

Starting to see now,
All the things that need to be fixed,
Starting to slowly repair the damage that I let age,
And mirror myself after the person I was meant to be.

Lost within myself,
I pretend to be just enough okay.
To make it through the day,
I think over and over again,
How and why,
I got this way.
I long to be back to happy,
Its starting to return to me,
I just hope it hasn't been far too long for me to remember what it feels like.

The only reason i am still in one piece,
Is hope that the a happy future isn't so far away...
Current Mood: gloomygloomy